Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Nicole Cohen highlights “man cave” AND advocates for the concept among women. Can you say…Christmas in April!?
All kidding aside, the man cave is a concept probably borne of two things: (1) the male’s reluctance to fully accept domestication; and (2) the desire to preserve some balance in the relationship through a healthy level of independent activity. But I find value in Cohen’ s review because it also presents the opportunity to highlight two points about relationships. First, the individualism that precedes a relationship does not lose its value during the relationship; and second, that finding mutually agreeable ways to support one another’s individualism can really help the relationship.
It’s not that a man (or woman) needs to have a fully furnished “pad” at the ready…we don’t. The only thing that makes this concept novel is its location and that it is being funded by a group of friends. Let us remember that the guys’ golf trips, girls’ spa days, poker nights or the “girls night out” have long served similar purposes. The point is, that the concept emphasizes the fact that everyone can use a space and time to detach and debrief…especially if it helps them better appreciate their relationship when together.
NOTE: This cannot be done by unilateral decision with the expectation that all will be well.
So, I applaud Cohen’s emphasis on the mutual consent of the activity – whatever it is. That is how relationships are suppose to work; and it’s the only way they last. So, find your man or woman “cave,” enjoy your time apart…and your time together even more.